Su Min, who is 59 years old, has been traveling for the past three years. Stories about her unhappy marriage and escape from her family have long spread to all corners of the Chinese Internet world.
In the traditional perception, it is an amazing move for a woman over 50 years old to travel alone and choose not to "accept it" any more. In the face of all kinds of misfortunes in life, accepting fate and obedience seems to be a natural choice for a woman of Su Min's age.
As a result, the rebellious Su Min became a totem. Some people regard Su Min as a "hero" and think that she represents the independent side of women. However, in Su Min's own eyes, she is just an ordinary woman, and she has no intention of promoting herself. The purpose of this "escape" is not only to escape a stagnant marriage, but also to find herself.
For more than a thousand days and nights, Su Min drifted from city to city. She gradually got out of the haze of the past and regained her love of life.
More importantly, she wants to use her own experience to prove that a woman is nearing her prime and still has a choice in life.
First, become Su Min, November 10, 2023, Langfang, Hebei Province. Su Min successfully got her C6 driver's license.
From the point of view of the process, the exam shows slight twists and turns: the first exam ends in failure and the second time it is passed.
However, this is not too unexpected Su Min expected. There is only a short day of practice, followed by the examination, which is obviously too hasty and short-lived for a 59-year-old woman. Fortunately, the result did not disappoint her.
After passing the exam, Su Min was so excited that she began to think about the future. "if you drive enough RVs on the road, maybe one day you can try another trailer." As he said that, there was a trademark kind smile on his round face.
From this smile, it is not difficult to see Su Min's current state-although she is in her twists and turns, she will be optimistic about the twists and turns in life. She will not hesitate to invest time and energy to try all kinds of new things.
These seem to be a far cry from Su Min, who was before the "flight".
Su Min's "escape" a few years ago has been discussed too many times in the world of the Chinese Internet. Whether you remember her name and appearance or not, you must have heard of her deeds more or less.
It was the story of a woman who lived in pessimism every day and was surrounded by misfortune: after nine years of work, the fertilizer factory closed down and she became a young housewife; she dutifully played the role of a good wife and mother, but could not escape her husband's questioning, and was often deducted from living expenses, and cold violence and suppression of dignity were even more common. Finally, she couldn't bear to go out to work. She worked at the construction site, swept the road, and delivered newspapers. In exchange for a stricter AA life, the husband no longer offered her any money, even if she only used her husband's ETC once, and had to make up the money afterwards. Later, she suffered from depression, self-harm and suicide.
The days were boring and tasteless, and the marriage turned into a pool of stagnant water, trapped in the same life every day, which is the whole portrayal of Su Min's life before the age of 56. In the corner of life, such a story is within reach, and it is easy to find Su Min's shadow one after another. They are as humble as dust, looking at their husbands' eyes every day, living silently and cautiously, forming a huge group-housewives.
Su Min's popularity lies in her "out of line" behavior. On September 4, 2020, the 56-year-old "escaped" from her marriage and family with a tent in her van, carrying 2000 yuan and antidepressants. As for where to escape, in fact, Su Min's heart does not have a very definite answer, but the answer is not important, the important thing lies in the matter of "leaving" itself.
Over 50 years old, suddenly have to look for a yearning for life, in a conservative view, such a move does not seem to be consistent with age, will only make people feel unorthodox.
Cynicism is expected to follow, the first to bear the brunt is the husband. He was still dismissive, saying that Su Min certainly could not bear the hardships and that he would run back soon. More dramatically, on the day Su Min set out, he had no intention of saying goodbye at all. As usual, he ran out early to play table tennis. Su Min was accompanied only by her daughter, saw her in the car, watched her sit in the driver's seat, said goodbye to each other, and finally waved.
The car keys twisted gently and the engine made a dull roar, like a long horn, so that the story started slowly in different directions from this moment on.
The story of a middle-aged woman's brave escape has been widely circulated.
At the age of 56, Su Min really became Su Min.
Some people commented on the beginning of Su Min's "flight", saying that her moment represented the independence and bravery of women. But Su Min said that at that time, she did not think so much, and never wanted to promote anything. "at that time, there was only excitement and a feeling of extra happiness," she said of her departure. "
In Su Min's video, it's easy to find the feeling she's talking about.
In the first pictures, Su Min looked a little raw in front of the camera, especially when she introduced herself, sometimes she bowed her head, sometimes her eyes drifted out of the camera, and a strong lack of self-confidence overflowed the screen. However, it is not difficult to find that the corners of her mouth are always rising.
She loved to laugh and wear bright red clothes, and then gradually began to wear lipstick and trace her eyebrows, even though the scene in the camera was just a triangular plum or a disorderly birdsong in the early morning.
It is hard to tell whether it is the unknown and curious or the suddenly changing environment that makes Su Min happy. The only thing that is certain is that she loves this kind of life. "you don't have to accommodate other people, you can do whatever you want."
From 56 to 59 years old, three years, 160000 kilometers of journey, the same is that Su Min still likes bright red. But now she prefers to grin, her eyes narrowing into two crescent moons, showing her teeth with no scruples and a particularly bright smile.
At this time, the journey is no longer an escape from the past, but life itself. Rather than the many labels that the public has attached to her, she wants to show that a woman, no matter how old she is, can still start all over again and choose the life she wants.
Second, the significance of travel about Su Min's journey can be simply summarized as two things: encounter problems, solve problems.
The so-called problems do not all arise out of thin air, and some have been anticipated from the beginning. The most practical questions are about the most basic parts of the journey-how to drive alone, how to pitch a tent, and how to spend the night alone in the wild, all of which have never been tried before.
So at first her journey was very slow-she drove 200 kilometers a day, slowly moving from one camping site to another according to the travel strategies found on the Internet, so that she could set aside a lot of time to observe the environment and solve the tent problem. From such an itinerary, it is not difficult to see some of the impressions that life has left on Su Min: cautious and worried.
However, this is the case with Rao, and the understated words on the strategy are also quite different from personal experience. My daughter is worried that she, a woman in her fifties who lives alone, will encounter danger on the road. Of course, such an idea also occurred in Su Min's mind, but it was only a flash. "the brain circuit is different from others," she said to herself. "you can't care about anything. I just think about the good life after I get out."
Soon, she found that setting up a tent was not that difficult. Although it took nearly an hour to get busy at first, practice made perfect, and she got used to fiddling with it a few more times. Similarly, spending the night in the wild is not a big challenge.
Although away from the family and the hustle and bustle, and the quiet darkness made people feel more or less frightened, Su Min was surprised to find that after she really hit the road, there were not a few travelers with the same purpose as herself. "if I hadn't come out, I couldn't believe that so many people had the same idea as you," she said. "
Since everyone lives in this way, they can live in this way, and since everyone is safe, of course they don't have to worry too much. As she thought, the problem of spending the night was no longer a problem.
At the age of 50, Su Min got a driver's license because of her work. By the time she left home, she had been driving for six years. She was not an old driver, and normal driving could not stop her. But that doesn't mean the journey will be plain sailing.
The most difficult experience came from Highway 219. She was going to run to Xizang, but a stone broke the tire and she was forced to break down on the way. Changing the tire was a hard job. She took out the Jack and crouched on the side of the road to try several times, but the tire remained motionless. The town ahead is still far away, and it is impossible to count on the help of the repair shop. at a critical time, three young men from Hunan who are passing by lend a helping hand.
By dividing the problem into two, the problem has been solved very smoothly, but it is not limited to this one. During the three-year journey, Su Min had many such moments, either to herself or to others. Others had helped her, and she had helped others. These moments made her gradually realize that even if they were just strangers, there was a great deal of goodwill between them, and that life was not as bleak as her marriage.
The heart is opened little by little by these tiny moments, and the journey has gradually become a pleasant daily. She always has a leisurely pace, stopping here for two days and there for two days, sometimes doing nothing but chatting with strangers. Occasionally, she would temporarily keep company with others, join a motorcade and move forward with dozens of strangers. When you get to one destination, look for the next.
However, there is another question involved: how to spend.
Food, clothing, housing and transportation are on the road, no matter how economical, for Su Min, whose pension is only 2300, the cost is still unaffordable. Her husband couldn't count on it, and she didn't want to bother her daughter. Later, when she heard that making short videos could bring income, she decided to pick up her cell phone and record her days on the road.
As a result, the "50-year-old aunt self-driving tour" came into being.
Objectively speaking, Su Min's idea is not much creative. On Kuaishou platform, there are many creators of travel, and the reason why Su Min can become famous is more from his own topic. Many people pay attention to her video, not in the scenery behind her, but in the scenery. People like to watch her become more and more optimistic during the journey and listen to her talk about what happened on the road, even if it is just a trivial matter. These things slowly fill the leisure of every day, not only bring income, the feeling of busyness also plays down the loneliness of the journey to a certain extent.
Someone wrote: "I also want to be as independent as my aunt. I think it is a great and romantic thing that I may travel alone like you when I am old."
Everyone can see from the video that Su Min's state is unwittingly changing for the better, and she herself knows, "in the past, I always thought of the pessimistic side of things, but now it's the opposite, only thinking about the positive side." She also began to broadcast live, trying to bring goods, this part of the income also gave her the capital and strength to start her journey freely.
But she tried more than that. During the trip, she taught herself editing and shooting skills according to online tutorials; during media interviews, she seized the opportunity to entrust reporters to teach herself how to operate drones. She also tried to surf in Hainan, crouched on the surfboard, rowed through the waves, and finally "the sea is very salty and very happy." after paying off the RV loan through live broadcast, she decided to get a C6 driver's license. Su Min said that in case it might be used later, who knows.
On the one hand, her strong curiosity comes from her freshness about the unknown. On the other hand, there is also the unfortunate influence of the past. "when I was young, I didn't seem to be able to ask for help. I had to work hard on my own." now I want to master everything and never ask for help again. "
It is difficult to say which reason has the upper hand. But there is no doubt about Su Min's attitude. "the sign of old age is that you don't want to accept new things and think you can't learn anything," she said. As long as you are willing to get in touch with new things and are willing to learn, you will always be psychologically young. "
Third, the definition of home has been away from home for three years, and Su Min's short video has been updated for three years one after another. The location is constantly changing, but the kind greetings of netizens always follow. Some fans choose to travel with her on their own initiative, which often happens; others invite her to live at home and treat her as if she were her own sister, so warm that she is embarrassed.
And there are two experiences that impressed her most. Once in Guizhou. At that time, because of a strained arm, Su Min showed the idea of going to see a doctor during the live broadcast. Unexpectedly, after anyone heard of it, she drove straight to the parking lot. She was taken to the hospital for examination, and then she was served a meal of authentic Liupanshui Fish in Sour Soup.
On another occasion, in Yongren, Yunnan Province, a local recognized her, insisted on taking her to a local pig killing feast, and then led her to a minority gathering village to participate in a minority fair.
Su Min said that these experiences made her feel very warm. But this kind of warm feeling, in the former "home", she seldom experienced.
Therefore, in the cosmopolitan days, the concept of "home" is also quietly changing. Once upon a time, the image of "home" was gradually dispelling in her mind and was replaced by a white RV.
The RV was bought at the end of 2021, when Su Min had been living outside for more than a year. Worried about her safety, the daughter took out all her savings, coupled with part of Su Min's income from short videos, finally collected enough for a down payment on an RV.
"I feel like I've become a rich man," Su said. " After all, in the past 50 years of life, the house belongs to her husband and the car belongs to her daughter. Only when she gets the RV can she finally have the only property that belongs to her name.
It was from that day on that Su Min ate and lived in this car. Although the interior of the car is not spacious, it can meet all the needs of life. More importantly, the car belongs to her and only belongs to her. She can be free here. "I can do whatever I want. I feel like this is my home."
But with regard to the former "home", it still needs a "closure".
This is also the most difficult question Su Min thought about during the journey, and the answer has always been clear: divorce.
How to write this answer depends on Su Min's own attitude. In previous reports, Su Min did not seem to have a firm attitude towards divorce, and even after decades of suffocation, she still had expectations for her husband. This expectation comes from Su Min's traditional side, and she admits that she still hopes to have a calm talk with her husband, so that the husband can realize his mistake.
However, the reality is far from the imagination. In the real world, her husband is still indifferent to Su Min, even if her story has spread all over the Internet, he is still depressed to live his own life, online discussions can not push him half a step forward.
But Su Min has gone so far that she can't keep waiting or running away. "you can escape for a while, but in the end you have to face it and come up with a solution." Su Min explained why she decided to divorce in this way.
In September 2022, the news of Su Min's divorce soon spread all over the Internet, followed by numerous media reports. In those reports, her image is always closely related to words like "independent woman". But in Su Min's view, "independence" is more about the ideological level, does not mean that a woman should be independent of her family. She has always been proud of her traditional identities, such as "grandma" and "mother". "the child depends on me, and I depend on the child," she said. "We keep each other warm and depend on each other."
This idea is also reflected in the matter of travel-she insists on waiting for the twins to go to kindergarten before starting the trip, because in her eyes, it is part of the mother's responsibility to help her daughter take care of the children. She also hopes that she can make more money through the Internet, on the grounds that she can "support herself, keep her children out of trouble, and let them live their own lives."
Even in the matter of "divorce", traditional ideas also influence Su Min. Some people suggested that she go directly to court to solve the problem, but she wanted to adopt a milder way, even if it would take me no idea how long it would take, for no other reason. "he is the father of his daughter, and he has children in the middle as a bond. I hope he can get together and break up. In the end, when we are not together, we can also be friends."
From this point of view, Su Min is more like an example full of contradictions. On the one hand, she has not escaped from the shackles of traditional thinking, but on the other hand, she is breaking away from the inherent track of fate in an unusual way. " Everyone has his own social responsibility. But even in those step-by-step days, people can pursue their dreams, or at least know what kind of life they want to live. Especially for those of us who are half buried, we have to do something more meaningful in a limited time. "
After a short stop in Langfang and obtaining a C6 driver's license, Su Min continued her journey. There are still many places to visit on her to-do list, such as Shanxi and Fujian, where she also hopes to travel to Taiwan one day, and her thoughts include scuba diving and paragliding, even though she will turn 60 next year.
In Su Min's plan, the age of sixty is not the end, and she will continue to travel like this for at least four or five years, or maybe longer.
Because there was always a more beautiful scenery in front of her, she had to step on the throttle without looking back.
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